Do nice guys really finish last? Or have we confused being nice with being passive? We’re often taught to be agreeable, avoid conflict and make other people comfortable, yet some of the most successful people seem remarkably comfortable saying no, disappointing others and putting their own priorities first. Does getting ahead require becoming colder and less emotional? Or is there a way to be kind without becoming a pushover? In this discussion and workshop, we’ll examine the difference between kindness, people-pleasing and assertiveness, and ask whether being “too nice” can sometimes hold us back in our careers, relationships and everyday lives.

We’ll also make it practical. What should you accept from other people? And what shouldn’t you? How do you set a boundary without sounding aggressive? How do you disagree, refuse a request or stand up for yourself while still treating the other person with respect? Through discussion, real-life situations and communication practice, we’ll experiment with ways to be more direct and confident without swinging from one extreme to the other. You don’t need to become ruthless to make something of your life, but perhaps you do need to become more comfortable with the fact that being a good person and keeping everyone happy are not the same thing. Expect plenty of opinions, relatable situations, useful language and a chance to practise finding that sweet spot between too nice and unnecessarily rude.

“老好人”真的会吃亏吗？还是我们把“好说话”和“被动”搞混了？我们从小被教育要和气、避免冲突、让别人舒服，但你会发现，那些混得最好的人反而特别擅长说“不”、让人失望，以及把自己的优先级放前面。想往上走就一定要变冷漠、变无情吗？还是说，其实有办法既能保持善良，又不会被人当软柿子捏？在这场讨论与工作坊中，我们会拆解善良、讨好型人格和坚定自信之间的区别，并追问“太好说话”会不会在某些时候拖累我们的职业、关系和日常生活。

我们还会让它变得很实用。什么东西你应该接受，什么不该接受？怎么设立边界听起来不像在攻击别人？怎么在拒绝、反驳或捍卫自己的时候，仍然尊重对方？通过讨论、真实场景模拟和沟通练习，我们会尝试各种方式，让你变得更直接、更自信，但又不会从一个极端走到另一个极端。你不需要变得冷酷无情才能成事，但或许你需要接受一个事实：做个好人，和让所有人开心，根本不是一回事。期待大量观点碰撞、各种熟悉的情境、实用的表达，以及一个练习的机会——找到那个“太好欺负”和“莫名其妙很冲”之间的黄金平衡点。